The Motherhood Methods I Use to Run a More Calm, Structured Home
As a mom to three boys ages 3, 5, and 7, and a nanny to two kids ages 2 and 4; I know all too well the chaos that ensues with that many children in one home. I learned, even with my first, how important having routines and methods to structure our days would be. I needed to have some kind of plan to not fall into a “Groundhog Day” type of life. Thats’s when I started implementing 5 core motherhood methods into every aspect of my life. From morning routines to night time sleep methods and everything in between. I’m here to share practical, repeatable methods and systems I had to learn through trial and error. I hope this article and my website can help you build a more calm, structured home.
Why I Stopped Trying to “Do it All” and Started Building Systems
I went from working six days a week as a young wife to being a stay at home mom at the age of 21. (You can read how I met my hubby and a little more about me here!) It was my dream ever since I was a little girl to be a mom and wife. When it became reality it wasn’t exactly what I expected. I couldn’t figure out how to “get it all done.”
When the 4 month sleep regression happened I felt like a failure. I was tired. I didn’t know how to clean up in the 20 minutes my baby was asleep, and you could forget about losing the baby weight. That’s when I knew I had to get systems in place. Or I was going to drown and my home was going to be a place of chaos, not calm.
My 5 Core Motherhood Methods (and how I implement them in the links below)
- The Morning Method- how I structure our mornings and get our days started the best we can. You can read my exact morning method and routine with my three boys and homeschooling Here!
- The Bedtime Method- our nighttime routines from when my kids were newborn to now and how I reset every night to help our mornings start more calmly.
- – Our Bedtime Schedule and My Nightly Reset Routine.
- – How I Got All My Boys Sleeping Through the Night
- – My Ultimate Sleep Schedule Guide
- – The Only Wake Window Guide You’ll Need
- The Weekly Reset Method- how I start our week off right to set us up for success and stay on budget. Also, how I spread out our house cleaning so I don’t feel like all I do is clean, but it keeps our home tidy and well maintained in less than 30 min a day.
- The Schedule and Organizing Method- what I do everyday to keep our home under control and not feel like all I do is clean.
- – My Sock Method That Will Change Your Life (and how we get out the door smoothly)
- – My Weekly Laundry Method and FREE Printable Laundry Template
- – How I Organize My Kids’ Closets and Store Their Seasonal Clothes
- – Our Daily Schedule as We Homeschool Our 3 Boys
- The Strength and Self Care Method- how I have learned to carve time out for myself everyday.
- – How I Lost 40+ Pounds
- – How I Rebuilt my Metabolism to Lose Fat and Gain Muscle
- – How I Romanticize My Life as a SAHM Homeschool Mom
- – My 30 Minute Work Out Routine
How I Build a New Motherhood Method
The first step in building out motherhood methods that work for you and your home is identifying the “ouchy” parts of your day. When I started this journey it was naps and not getting enough sleep. I needed my kids to take consistent, long naps so I could get things done during the day. I also cannot function without a ridiculous amount of sleep, so I needed them to sleep through the night. These sleep issues made me research and implement a nighttime routine and sleep training. This transferred to their naps and gave me more time in my day. You can read about all my sleep tips and tricks here!
It has ebbed and flowed what the “ouchy” parts of my day are. At times it’s been organization or never-ending laundry. Other times it’s fitting everything into our day, and still giving me time to myself and to work out. Most recently it’s been chores, and a morning routine for homeschooling. Whatever it is, pick one thing at a time and break it apart. What is the hardest part about it? What is making it so “ouchy” for you? Is it actually that thing, or is it lack of sleep or lack of time for yourself? Identifying that will help you structure a method for what you truly need.
Next, think through, realistically, what you are capable of changing? Don’t try to change your whole schedule or reorganize your whole house. This won’t make changes that last, and before you know it you are right back where you started. Plus feeling super defeated. I know this because I’ve done it over and over again. I know you are Superwoman! You are doing so much already! This isn’t about doing more, it’s about creating sustainable systems so you can do less!
Once you’ve decided where you want to start and make a game plan for that; (I always start with pen and paper, you just can’t beat the old school way) try to stick to it for a few days. See what works and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to adjust for what actually is realistic and sustainable for you and your family.
If You’re Overwhelmed, Start Here
If you have absolutely no idea where to start at all and you are deep in the trenches, do not feel overwhelmed. I have been there, Mama. Still am sometimes if I’m being honest! I’m here to help you out and I would start with an evening reset.
Every night after my kids go to bed, I try to “put the house to bed”. I throw all the toys in the toy/school/library room and shut the door. Walk away. Throw the throw pillows back on the couch and fold the blankets. Put the shoes where they belong and put dinner in the fridge. I try to do the dishes, or put all the dirty dishes in the sink and start the dishwasher. I wipe down the counters and put any laundry in the washer into the dryer. This may sound like a lot but it realistically takes about 15 minutes a night.
Once I started doing this it was a huge gamechanger. Coming down in the morning to a tidy house, and not yesterdays mess, made it so I could start the day on a calmer note. Set a timer for 15 min and see how far you get! I bet it’s more than you think and tomorrow you will be so thankful for tonight you.
Why Systems Make Motherhood Feel Calmer
Systems can make every aspect of your life easier and eliminate so much decision fatigue. We as mothers or parents make approximately 1,256,369,842 decisions a day. When is soccer practice? Can I have a snack? When is the last time I cleaned that? Have they eaten any fruits or veggies today? The list goes on.
We can eliminate some decisions by having routines and methods that we do every day. Make a schedule once and that takes the guessing out of every day after that. This leaves space in your brain for the soccer practice and fruits or veggies thoughts.
You will also be more likely to consistently get the cleaning, laundry, or workouts done if you break it down into specific times. Rather than it piling up until you can’t handle it and deciding to try and do everything in one day. Knowing which load of laundry and which chore you do on Tuesdays will keep your home calmer and cleaner.
Last but not least, kids really do thrive on routine. When they know what to expect throughout the day they are more capable of transitioning. It can be really dysregulating for everyone if no-one knows what needs to be done that day.
Final Thoughts… For Now
I do not do every system perfectly and my motherhood methods have had to be re-worked many times through the years. We are, after all, a crazy house with three boys that love to be loud and messy. However, I truly believe systems and methods have not only made my home calmer; they very well may have saved my life. I hope these tips might feel a little lifesaving to you. And hopefully, help you build a more calm, structured home you can thrive in.
